26

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This morning I woke up and realized who I am. Nights of heavy indulgence in alcohol and thought, I’ve been so self critical. All of these things have been laid out in front of me for so long and I didn’t see them, because I’m a runner. I slip away in the night using the darkness as a cover, but I don’t need to. 26..you don’t have to know it all but you do have to put your all into it. I look around and 26 is everywhere, successful youth line the streets and hop on and off the metro in thick crowds. Every picture, 26 is on vacation in a beautiful country, far from arms reach. To my left 26 has an engagement ring and wedding plans and beautiful babies who have just as much personality as their silly fathers. 26 and they’re in love and they been together for years but this 26 has never been with anyone for longer than 1. But the problem with my 26 is I’ve been thinking I was lost, like there was some guide to life, like in comparison to everyone else I didn’t have anything. I’ve been so busy looking at what everyone else has that I didn’t realize all the things that I already do. There has been so much they that I forgot about me. All the things that I want are already here, and whatever isn’t…will be.

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