Endearment.

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I love you for you and the fact that for prolonged periods you accept that I like to be alone, and not because I don’t love being around you, but because you accept me. A muse lost among a sea of people, my mind wanders and I have to reel in my creativity, and you give me that time. I love you because you call me and not just text me and that’s intimate to me because in a world full of technology, you know I’d rather hear you laugh. There are a million ways you could be flawed and I care about not even one, because you give me..me. But it’s not about just me, its the freedom you give me to operate within myself. See, I’ve been with people who would smother me, people I felt like waterboarded me every time I left their sight. I’ve lived the possessive lifestyle where you make each other feel like property, where once the texting stops all there is left is doubt and that’ts not you, nor is that me anymore. We have lives and were so respectful of that and I trust you even if I’ve known before me you weren’t trustworthy…but neither was I. We could go back and fourth all day about what the other person used to do, but then I’d be left wondering how your actual day went and being robbed of your smile. Somehow you find your way into most thoughts within my day and I anticipate you, gladly. To stop living in fear and actually embrace you was a battle, but when I saw with my own eyes the man you were becoming, I was inspired to love you. And inspiration like that moves your core, because when you decide to grow with someone the momentum can be overwhelming, but you keep me balanced. So for you, I don’t falter, and anything that is given to you I help carry because to watch a man operate in such strength is a blessing. And when I say there is nothing I would let you go through alone I mean that, so I expect you to come to me with some things you may not necessarily feel comfortable with, but I give you that comfort. I am not a weak woman, I hurt like every other but I choose to portray it in a different way. With me you will know the ferocity of my fortitude but also the depth in my pain, you’ll feel it and that is ok with me. But without doubt I want you to be able to tell the world I would never hurt you, even if you were to ever question it, I need for you to be able to tell the world that “she would come to me first,” because you know my love does not waiver.

 

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