Bairn.

A little boy who can be so bad but so loving at the same time. A little boy who calls for mommy when he is scared at night and maybe I don’t want to get up, but I love him more than I love me. It stops becoming about me, and somehow I realize it never was. A little boy who makes bad decisions but I’m tasked with loving him unconditionally because he is part of me and sometimes I feel like he is even more a part of the man that I love. I look at him and he looks just like his father, so beautiful, so perfect. He is everything. And when I see him with his dad, see how much he loves him, I love him even more. 9 months was nothing when I see them playing together, baby you can’t be so rough, i think to myself, but then I look at our us, and with his smile so wide, I sit there with only this moment deep within my soul. I’m not 100% if I was my best self before you came to me. Pregnant and swollen your father looked at me like he had never seen anything so precious, and as scared as I was he gave me peace. And before you I knew what love was because your father embodied all that I am, until the day he found out that he had given you to me. Uncertain of the sex, his love was magnified, and not only could I sense it but I could feel it too. I didn’t know how our love could mesh in such harmony, until we laid our eyes on you.

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