Resolute.

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Little Brown fingers touch my face as they search for the meaning of skin. Not fully aware yet, she wonders to herself: “Do i look like her?” And I, setting eyes on such beauty I’m not sure if I should tell her yet. Should I wait until she notices? Until she arrives to find a classroom full of diverse faces, should I let her find out for herself? My beautiful earth toned baby, the one I want to be opinionated and proud, will she be? Growing up in a time where race seems to be everything but irrelevant, how can I send her out into the world not being sure? And I could home school her and keep her glued to my side in order to keep her safe, but she’ll know. As soon as she is prompted to pick up a crayon to draw herself, what if she chooses blue? What if the girl sitting next to her says “You’re not blue you’re black!” and the only crayon she feels she can use to express herself is that one. That is the moment, the moment you want to be there to explain to your child that she can be whoever she chooses if that is what she desires. And although you know eventually you will have to wipe her tears from the moments of the true reality of racism, for now the crayon box is hers to explore. My little girl will know she is brown soon enough, the world will not hesitate to let her know. But I will build her up so strongly that her sense of self will be unshakable, even in times of adversity.

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