I’ve watched the movie “The Notebook” countless times, but there was just something about tonight. The one question that I have is, will anyone ever get to know you the way your first love did…and I mean know you in the most un-jaded form? Before all the heartbreaks and realities of the world, do you think that anyone will ever get to see that pure love again? I can’t help but wonder if that is the reason that people say that you never get over your first. You expose yourself to them in a way that no one will ever get to see again in life. Of course you will love again, and you’ll even end up in an even better relationship but do you ever get that comfort back? Do you carry those memories with you into old age and find yourself reminiscing on times you never thought you would be able to hold on to as long as you have? Can you ever just shake that person completely? There are times now, even years later that my heart still aches at the thought of my first love? Even in new relationships I think of him in movies and in songs and it sometimes perplexes me because I’ve loved others since him, but there are things I can’t see myself telling anyone but him. Even in not speaking to him in forever, there is this unshakable hold that makes me wonder if he ruined me.