Black Widow.

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Lately I’ve been telling people what they want to hear and not really meaning it. I haven’t been doing it maliciously but its just people are going to tell you whatever you want to hear, so sometimes it just feels more convenient to do the same thing. As much as I care about people I think there was a point that I came to where I just learned how to turn numbness on. After countless times of getting bullshitted I won’t lie, a part of you, or should I say the uncritical part of you disappears. You make sure that people don’t notice that its gone, but you can feel it. You can feel it so much so that it is equivalent to what you would imagine natural selection feeling like. I am still very sweet and very conscious of people’s feelings but I can see the difference and what makes me nervous is that I have no problem with it. Me telling a person what they want to hear has become somewhat second nature. It happens effortlessly now, but I’ve been able to hide the fact that this piece has been missing for sometime now. Sometimes I feel like I’m living an alternate life with this sweet facade, and I watch people fall victim to it and I feel for them because I know what it feels like, what’s unfortunate is I don’t know if I sympathize anymore.

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