I want to tell you guys a story.
I am a creature who thrives off distractions. I was in a relationship for a year and a half that ended absolutely terribly. About three months after that I ended up going to Miami for a week and this is where the story begins. Miami was a paradise where you could just free yourself of all your inhibitions and indulge in everything the city has to offer. I went to Miami with a group of friends and needless to say it was endless nights of partying. One night as I’m walking along the strip a guy approaches me who I had noticed went to my school at the time and asked me for my number. I had seen him at parties before back home and I had always turned him down but for some reason I gave it to him. We ended up hooking up consistenly our entire stay there and my plan was to leave it in Miami once I returned home. So after the trip was through and we returned, I deleted his number and swore it was a done deal…so I thought. I ended up finding out that he lived three blocks away from me and I started seeing him everywhere! We started dealing with each other for what became a year and let me say it was the worst situation I could have ever allowed myself to be in. He was an absolute womanizer and regardless of what he did I stayed. Constant disappointments are all that came from it but he helped me get over my ex, and he was honest with me, so like a typical dumb female, I stayed. I had taken a trip to West Virginia about two weeks before my birthday and he was supposed to attend a night that meant a lot to me and he didn’t without explanation and as always the next day he sent me this apology, and at that moment I decided I was done. Two weeks went by and I resisted the drunken urges to call or text him, until my birthday. He texted me “Happy Birthday Beautiful” and I almost fell for it until he called me. He wanted to see me and for the first time I told him no and I don’t think anyone’s words could ever hurt me the way his did, I haven’t spoken to him since. The point of this story is simple, distractions only temporarily remove you from reality. My entire life I have sought out distractions just to prevent dealing with what is. Yes, they take you from a situation and maybe remove the pain but you never realize that you’re putting yourself into a whole other situation. You just can’t keep seeking distraction after distraction without it becoming self destructive. My friends watched on my birthday as I answered his call and they say they watched my heart break, and I think its true, ill never forget it. I fell in love with a distraction and I’m honestly just now admitting it because lately I’ve been lost in my thoughts. I throw myself into situations trying to push other ones to the back of my mind only for them to end up in the forefront. I’m just another one of those people who has to experience to learn, but everyone in your life, rather it be short term or long term opens up a door that introduces you to strength you’ve always been entitled to, but just never had the right key to unlock.
” I have a history of making decisions very quickly about men. I have always fallen in love fast without measuring risks. I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential….many times in romance I have been the victim of my own optimism.”