I don’t worry about getting my hair wet or how many calories are in what. I keep up with events within the news but I try not to watch it everyday, too depressing.I’m an optimistic realist and I’m also a problem drinker.I push things to the back of my mind when I don’t want to think about them and I’d prefer to suppress things.I talk to myself pretty often and there have been a few instances where I thought I could be considered insane.I don’t want kids ever because I’m selfish (which is the honest reason) and I don’t want to get married because I’m afraid of the person I’m in love with realizing they aren’t really as in love with me as they thought theiy were and asking me for a divorce, meanwhile I’m dying inside because my love will have remained the same (dramatic I know).I hate talking on the phone but will still carry on a conversation as though I’m having the best time ever.I commend my friends for being able to put up with me because at times I can’t even stand myself. I talk to my mom everyday because once I lost my grandfather I realized the older I get the more people I’m going to lose.My dad has gotten me through some tough times and kept his poker face and I can only hope to be as strong as he is.I want to stop drinking but thats my only escape from reality so…yea.My mind races at night and as of lately I haven’t really been sleeping.I love to make people happy, so I’m always joking or doing something crazy to make them smile.I’ve lived a full life so far, sometimes too much so.I want to be someone but I have no idea who…which probably sounds weird but..yea.I’m currently lost in the world and probably confused as well but theres so many directions that I can go in so I stay hopeful that I choose the right one.


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